Melanie's posted 6 comments on the forum

Congrats on launching your channel, Romy! I loved watching your trailer and just subscribed.

I'm a designer who can code a little, and I'm lucky to have a great dev as my partner. But lately I think I'm relying too much on him to code custom stuff when I could solve those things myself with nocode tools ;)

So I'm looking forward to your upcoming videos!

I love this, Anne-Laure! A lot of great tips in there. The "not yet" technique is one of the best things I started doing for myself, but I didn't know the book by Carol Dweck yet. Thanks for recommending.

Haha yes, it’s definitely something different. We get to know more and more couples that work together, but not everyone works in tech. I feel it makes a difference because they don't identify as much with their work / don't see it as a hobby too. I'm still not sure whether it's good or bad that we do

Most "guidelines" we define are to not get too involved with the other's emotions. Like working on tasks that might frustrate us alone in separate offices and turning off Slack. It's not productive if the other one wants to help but can't. It makes us both miserable talking it through instead of just solving the problem in "isolation". We're also better at stopping ourselves from talking about the same problems again and again now.

There are still things we're working on – like not feeling pressured into working when the other one does, but I'm not sure how to tackle them yet.

Generally, we also have a very structured day and know exactly when the other does what. I know that sounds super boring, but it helps set expectations. F.ex. we know when it's time to stop working, cook dinner and eat. So if one of us is hungry already they don't have to nag the other to stop working. It's little things that totally add up to make us feel comfortable.

How do you two handle your day to day together? Maybe you're not the same kind of control freaks we are 😂

(Sorry for the wall of text, somehow my line breaks got lost 🧐)

Oh, very good question!

I’ve worked with my partner for 3 years now and it works out really well for the most part! We figured out some guidelines and routines as we went and are still constantly adapting how we deal with things.

We’re still talking about our projects and work constantly, but we kind of love that part! There’s always someone to bounce ideas off quickly. If one of us is not in the mood, we just say so and postpone the conversation for a bit, but usually come back to it quickly.

Holding the other accountable is one of the most difficult parts for us, as we both understand why the other would procrastinate on hard stuff. So we both try to commit to one bigger / hard thing per week that 100% will get done. That makes it easier to talk about it or remind the other without causing tension.

I agree with Steph that it really depends on the relationship whether it’s going to work out. I can't think of any other person on this earth I could do this with. Being considerate and able to communicate well is key!

🙌 Oh yes, I love the idea as well!